


We'll Always Have Paris

by Harlequin4ever, Karalena Cullen (Karacullen23)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2706818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlequin4ever/pseuds/Harlequin4ever, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karacullen23/pseuds/Karalena%20Cullen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything in him wanted to believe what her eyes were silently trying to offer him. For a brief moment when she reached out to touch his hand, he almost did believe her. </p><p>"You keep telling me that I should just leave Bruce. Part of me that still cares, can't. I can learn to block those feelings. The other half of me knows I can do much better than him. I don't like feeling like this anymore. What he makes me feel.....worthless. You've taken him away from me. I found you, but I haven't found him.."</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Always Have Paris

By: Aurispencentric Ltd.

He sat alone. 

he blonde slid into the chair opposite her son, eyes wide, her tone soft. 

 

"Hello Spencer."

 

Spencer didn't look up, but his entire body tensed in response. 

 

"Mother."

 

Hands clasped together on the table, she swallowed down nervously. 

 

"Where's my husband?"

 

"That's all you ever care about, isn't it Mother?" 

 

He blinked up at her from beneath golden lashes. His eyes heartbreakingly blue as he lifted the coffee mug to his lips.

 

Spencer's tone stung like a bitch. His words made her heart ache, but it was his perfect blue orbs which crushed her soul. Pain flared behind her own pools, and she knew she had to keep it together. 

 

"You seemed to make it quite clear that you wanted nothing more to do with me. Was I wrong?"

 

"Did I?" He cocked his head slightly to the side as he seemed to ponder that statement. 

 

He otherwise, made no answer. Instead, he averted his gaze as he set his mug back down. 

 

"How did you find me?" Lifting the silver spoon from the saucer, he half-heartedly stirred his coffee.

 

Their last conversation sounded like it. She sat still in the seat and watched him only with her eyes. 

 

"I have my ways." Was all she said in response.

 

"A woman in your condition really shouldn't be flying, Mother." His tone was blase, but there was a genuine flicker of concern in his eyes as he continued to stare into his coffee.

 

Suddenly her blue pools were darting to her stomach. She was showing now, obvious that she was pregnant to everyone who looked. 

 

Subconsciously placing her hand to her stomach, she looked back up at Spencer. "I had to come. You gave me no other choice."

 

"There's always another choice. You've just always preferred not to accept any other."

 

Harleen didn't want to get into a fight of any kind in a public place, but she couldn't leave. 

 

"Then remind me..."

 

His heart picked up an anguished beat at that. Unsure as to whether she meant what he thought she did or not, he risked a look up to search her eyes. His own eyes tumultuous.

 

Catching his gaze in her own, she looked at him cautiously, but expectantly. Hesitantly reaching out to touch his hand, she nodded. 

 

"Refresh my memory."

 

Everything in him wanted to believe what her eyes were silently trying to offer him. For a brief moment when she reached out to touch his hand, he almost did believe her. 

 

Until he remembered the real reason she was here. His face darkened and he pulled his hand away. "Don't think I'm so stupid that you can play me like that." He hissed quietly at her. "I'm not giving him back to you."

 

The blonde really did hope that Spencer would finally open up to her, but when he pulled his hand away, she didn't pull hers back. However, she did look rather hurt at his hiss. 

 

"I was actually being serious, Spencer. Forget about him for a moment, I want to talk to /you/. Look into my eyes and tell me that I'm lying. Go on...." 

 

Her eyes wide, she slowly leaned forward. "I would never think you stupid my precious one. Not ever."

 

Spencer wasn't so far gone that he could hold up under that too blue, wide gaze forever. Something in his own face seemed to crack. 

 

He swallowed hard and had to look away. "Then tell me what you have to say so we can be done." His words might have seemed harsh if it weren't for the agonized tone in his voice.

 

Done? She still didn't want to be just 'done' in her sons eyes. She knew it might have been for the best, but it still hurt. Spencer was her baby boy, no matter what happened. 

 

"You keep telling me that I should just leave Bruce. Part of me that still cares, can't. I can learn to block those feelings. The other half of me knows I can do much better than him. I don't like feeling like this anymore. What he makes me feel.....worthless. You've taken him away from me. I found you, but I haven't found him.." 

 

She trailed off and paused for a long minute. "What if I give up and go back home?"

 

"You do whatever it is you feel you need to do, Mother. You always have, and I don't think anything is ever going to change that."

 

The blonde was silent as she contemplated. When she spoke her voice was soft and heartbreaking. 

 

"Whatever I choose, will you still love me just the same?"

 

He chuckled softly. It was a dry, bitter sound. "How could I not?" 

 

Shaking his head, he looked over at her. A sad smile on his lips. "But I'm not a fool, Mother. I know that what time we had together, we had only because I wanted. You gave yourself for me. Not because it was what you wanted, but for what you thought I wanted... needed." 

 

He had to look away, blinking the moisture from his eyes he sighed softly. "But you know where you belong. I know that in the end, it's going to be him. It's always going to be him." 

 

Spencer was silent a long moment, biting back the thick emotion that choked him. "I've always lived in his shadow. I could never take his place, in either one of your hearts. I've realized that now. Maybe even accepted it... I don't know." 

 

He looked back up at her, his face unreadable. "I had a son. Did you know that? I... was a father. And for one, brief and shining moment... I thought I knew where it was that /I/ belonged. But now ... even that's been taken from me." 

 

Finally pulling her hand back, she rest both hands in her lap, looking down at the table. She couldn't hide the fact that there were tears stinging her eyes. She was stubborn, they would not fall. Not here. 

 

Rejection hit her hard and she had to take a deep breath to steady herself. "I've been thinking about this since Bruce and I split. We will always love each other. But since you've taken him...I..." How could she explain it? 

 

Sniffing, she leaned against the back of the chair, still avoiding his eyes. "I finally feel at peace. I have worried about and made it my mission to make sure I found Bruce..but it's not the same anymore. I don't feel... Like I owe him anything anymore. I just wanted to make sure he was safe." 

 

She shrugged lightly, more to herself than anything. "And I was stupid for believing that you and I could have anything more. I didn't just give myself to you for you, I did it because I wanted you too." Finally admitting it sounded strange to her. 

 

Harleen nodded. "Aurora had the baby..." She was a grandmother. The rest of what he'd said was overshadowed by that realization. 

 

That had him staring back up at her blinking. How could he believe? How could he not when he saw it plain in her face. 

 

"No matter what you think... he's still my father. I wouldn't want to see him hurt anymore than you would. I promise... he's safe." It was all he was willing to give her right now. 

 

As to the rest... he said nothing. His eyes searching her carefully, not knowing what to believe. Not knowing what it was he felt. He had loved her his entire life. When she had left, all he had left of her were the pretty little fantasies of a child's grief. He had clung so hard to that fantasy that when she had come back and reality couldn't hold up to those dreams, he had felt... bereft. Angry. Yes, he still loved her. Yes, he still wanted her in the most sinful of ways. But deep in his soul, it wasn't the lover he ached for. It was the Mother he had always yearned for...

 

Darting a small peek up at him, she nodded. The blonde believed him. Not just because the tone of his voice was telling the truth, but because she would always believe her son. 

 

He didn't say anything else, and she was lost. Her tongue darted out to lick at her dry lips and she sighed. She came what she was looking for. And leaving with nothing one more. 

 

"I uh.. I should be leaving then." She had to keep it together for another couple of seconds, but her voice broke. "Take care baby boy.." And she rose to leave.

 

As she rose to leave, he just simply reacted before he even knew what he was doing. His hand shot out to grab her wrist, his fingers loosening quickly to slide down to clasp her hand. 

 

He still didn't say anything. Though his chest was heaving and his eyes latched onto hers wide and almost pleading. For what... he didn't know for sure. But he wasn't ready for her to leave. 

 

Not yet. Not like this...

 

Suddenly his hand was around her wrist. Not gripping, almost...pleading her not to go. She blinked away her tears and tried to shove down the emotions wanting to burst from her at any seconds. She didn't want Spencer seeing her breaking down. 

 

He was silent, but she knew the look in his eyes and she slowly sat down in her seat once more, sliding her hand in with his, needing that connection. 

 

"Okay, Spence.. I'll stay baby." She rubbed the back of his hand gently in her own and whispered to him.

 

He just nodded. His voice was still lost to him as she sat back down with her hand in his. Closing his eyes, he took in a trembling breath.

 

Spencer looked so....fragile. Not in the sense that he couldn't handle his new life now, but just that everything was carried on his shoulders. 

 

The blonde just traced random patterns on the back of Spencer's hand just so that he was calm and collected. Or hoped that it helped some at least. 

 

And if she was staying... Waving the waiter over, she ordered a cup of tea and handed him cash. "So..you're adjusting to being a Father alright, Spence? Is it what you thought it would be?" She didn't know what else to talk about and just tried to keep it as light as possible.

 

Her light touch tracing over the back of his hand was soothing. He kept his eyes closed and just relished the little contact. 

 

But at her questioning, his eyes opened to look at her. The raw pain flashed to her briefly before he blinked down at the table. "The baby's gone." His voice was barely a whisper. It was still too fresh and too painful to think about. 

 

For all his worries, Spencer hadn't had any problems at all adjusting to being a father. If it hadn't been for Aurora shutting down... it might have been the happiest, if fleetingly, he had ever been in his life.

 

Once his gaze caught back at hers, she wished she had never brought up the subject. She froze for a second. Those three words felt terrible and she really didn't know what that meant, since he wasn't explaining further, but she kept up her tracing on his skin. 

 

Spencer might have hated her deep down, but she, his Mother, knew how to help calm him. She didn't say anything, and just consoled him silently from then on. 

 

The same waiter placed down her mug of tea in front of her and left and Harleen took a small sip with her free hand. And then she really didn't know what to say.

 

She said nothing in response, and Spencer was grateful. He wasn't sure he would have been able to handle anything she might have said right now, no matter how sympathetic or compassionate. 

 

But he could see on her face that she was also thinking the worst, and he kicked himself for his previous choice of words. He was quick to correct that and reassure her. "The baby's fine, he's just... " He took in a breath and pulled his fingers once through his tangled curls. "Theia has him now. It's... for the best." 

 

When he rectified his sentence, she then understood it. The baby would be in very capable, loving hands with Theia. She just pet Spencer's hand, showing that she understood.

 

It was like with those few words spoken, and the understanding so rich in his mother's eyes, the blocks started to tumble down. 

 

Everything that he'd been silently feeling for so long just started to spill out of him as he told her almost everything. About how amazing it had felt.. how different and frightening and wonderful it was for him to be father and what a difference that had made in him. 

 

About how heartbreaking it had been when Theia had shown up and told him that his child had a destiny ... somewhere else. How he was both proud and heartbroken all at once when his son was handed over to be fostered for that destiny. How it was for the best. Spencer knew that Auri wasn't ready, that his sister couldn't ... But he was, and he could... he had been capable. He didn't share this with his mother, choosing to skip over all of that. The wounds were too fresh and so he changed the subject quickly.

 

He told her all about his new position at the Angel and Demon Modeling Agency here in Paris. About his worries in regards to Mathias, but also the unexpected passion and excitement he got out of the work. 

 

All the while as he spilled everything and filled his mother in on his life, he never once mentioned his sister. Carefully side stepping that subject entirely.

 

Suddenly all the walls were down. Spencer /finally/ opened up to her, for the first time in /years/. And she was glad that she had tracked him down after all. Her baby was strong, so strong on his own. Making a life with his sister, going after his dreams---(Bruce had hated her for conding it and letting them leave, but Harleen could see that they needed this. They couldn't be cooped up all their lives. Her little babies needed to fly. Succeed or fail). 

 

This moment...right here, with her son, was the most important in a long time. She was here for him when he needed someone the most. 

 

She nodded, without judgement, and kept a hold of his hand for support and comfort. All the while, she realized that he hadn't spoke a word about Auri. And that was his choice. She didn't pry. 

 

The blonde congratulated Spencer on his job and taking the big step up to raising his family all on his own. That as long as he was in a good place, peacefully and at least happy, then she was grateful that she was here now to hear about it. 

 

"You're my greatest achievement, Spencer. Your happiness means the world to me, and I might fail sometimes, I am glad you're still here."

 

He flushed at her remark, and fell silent. The guilt twisting in his stomach at her words. How could he tell her what he really wanted to say most of all? That despite it all... he still wasn't happy. Because deep down... it wasn't what he really wanted.

 

Harleen sensed something. Knew she was off about that last one. Could sense if even if she didn't have her powers anymore. Saw it in his eyes. 

 

"Tell me, Spence...."

 

Spencer shook it off, closing off tight once more. "It's nothing, Mother." He cleared his throat and lifted his mug to his lips.

 

The blonde really wanted to know. She looked at her son with desperate blue hues. "Please baby.. Don't cut me out."

 

He looked up at her, his blue eyes piercingly blue. He swallowed hard and licked his lips as he held her gaze, seemingly contemplating whether or not to speak. 

 

Trembling fingers reached out to take her hand in his, needing the contact. Needing to pretend if only in this minute, that she was the Mother he had once known, once worshiped and turned to for comfort as a boy. Even if they both knew in their hearts that things could never again be that simple... 

 

Only Spencer might have had his doubts, or were they hopes? She didn't know... no one /really/ knew what all he was capable of. 

 

Spencer could feel the truth: that he held that power. The only question was... was he right to use it? 

 

He took in a sharp breath through his nostrils and when he spoke, his voice was a deep, dry whisper. "All I want, more than anything... is to do what's right. But how can you know what's right when everything is s...so... /wrong/?"

 

The way he looked at her, reminded her of well...her. No wonder. Those eyes so familiar. He finally reached out to take her hand and she squeezed his hand back reassuringly. No matter what he said to her right then, she wasn't going to judge or leave. 

 

At least now, she was hopefully rectifying the broken pieces of their mangled relationship. He looked so tiny, as he sat across from her, and she had the strong urge to protect him. But from what. There was no threat. 

 

"I've been saying this for lord knows how long, but Spencer, baby... Does anyone really know what's right?" She tilted her head to the side and gazed at him with sad eyes. "You have to do what's right for /you/. No one else can say if it's wrong or right. Only you decide."

 

"Yeah well..." He let his fingers slide out from her grip. "..I have yet to have made any right decisions..." He lifted his mug to his lips and dropped his eyes.

 

A little piece of her left with him when he removed his hand from hers. Her chest ached with so many emotions and she just cleared her throat, nodding. 

 

She didn't have anything to say to that and doodled on the table with her fingertips.

 

The silence lingered, neither one of them having anything else to say really. At least, Spencer didn't have anything else to say. That dark cloud had settled back over his pale brow as he sat there in deep, brooding contemplation.

 

Harleen sat in silence. To her it seemed as though Spencer hadn't made up his mind in what he really wanted. Well, she couldn't do anything about that. 

 

Now it was slightly awkward, only because she felt like she should be the one keeping him entertained. Guess old habits never die. She finished her mug of tea, and chewed on her lip. 

 

"So, uh.." She gulped. "What now? Do you tell me you don't want to meet again, and I leave, or are we going to make this more than an annual thing?":

 

"I... don't know." He blinked up at her, uncertainty written plainly all over his face. But there was something else there on his features too... in his eyes...

 

The blonde was lost as well. She couldn't make up his mind, only he could. 

 

And with that, she nodded to herself, but catching his gaze, she was caught. "How'bout both?" She said softly. "I can leave, but you know where to reach me if you want me.." That sounded vaguely odd. "...or whatever." She shrugged.

 

"I don't know if I'll be able to reach you...where I might be going." He said rather cryptically, barely a whisper.

 

Blue orbs widened and Harleen was visibly shocked. "Where are you going?"

 

"That has yet to be seen." Was the only equally cryptic answer he afforded her. 

 

Rising from his seat, he withdrew his wallet and lay few francs on the table to pay for their coffee. He moved gracefully on his long legs over to the opposite side of the table where he bent down to brush his cool lips against his mother's cheek. 

 

"It was good to see you. I have missed you." He spoke softly into her ear, her soft golden locks tickling his cheek. 

 

And with that, he straightened, smoothed down the front of his suit and gave her a sad smile. "I'm sure you'll find your husband soon enough. Goodbye, Mother." 

 

And with that, he turned and strode from the little cafe, out into the cool, misty twilight of Paris.

 

Spencer didn't answer her. Not really. Another cryptic little piece to the puzzle. He got that from his father for sure. It annoyed her immensely, because she couldn't help him if she didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. 

 

Best leave it to himself. 

 

He was a grown man after all. He stood and her heart broke a little more. This was goodbye, she knew it. Her heart beat erratically when he bent down towards her. Eyes big and baby blue, her lips parted to inhaled sharply at his whisper. 

 

Spencer then left and she turned to watch him leave. The door closed and she spoke in a soft sad voice. "Goodbye Spencer. I'll miss you more than you'll ever know." 

 

And then it was just her and the baby, sitting at the empty table. It was the curse of Paris, she presumed. At least it hadn't ended in tears. She couldn't walk out with nothing more than she came in with. A silent prayer was sent to the Angel, and within a blink, the blonde disappeared without a trace.


End file.
